Friendship can be hard, especially when you become a mom. People joke about mom dating and how it’s so difficult to make friends during this phase of life. For years I prayed to find my tribe and when I finally found my people, it was not what I expected.
There was a period in my life, not too long ago, where friendship was hard for me. See we moved 3 times within 5 years. Whenever it felt like I’d finally built deep, life-giving relationships, we’d move.
Because we moved so often, for years I prayed for friends, mentors and everything in between.
Why We Should Seek Friendship with Older Women
We’ve been in our current location for 6 years now and I can say I’ve finally found my people! But some of my most life-giving relationships are not what I initially expected.
This week I planned a coffee date with some of my tribe and guess what? Two of the women are about 4o years older than me.
Say what!? Does that surprise you? At first, it surprised me too. But over these past six years I’ve found so much value in meeting with women who are older than me.
They have so much wisdom and life experience to share. Of course I have friends my age who I can chat with about motherhood and life, but it’s also wonderful to get advice from older generations.
They have been through it many times before. They are on the “other” side of motherhood. When we chat, I almost always find they have great wisdom and insight when it comes to all things parenting and marriage. Their perspectives are often different and that’s not always a bad thing.
Today I was contemplating mentorship and relationship building. Making multi-generational friends doesn’t seem to be the norm. When did young women stop taking advice from older women?
Yes, it can sometimes be hard to take advice from others. Especially if the advice is unsolicited.
But I can’t push aside the thought that maybe we are missing out on something extremely valuable when we only seek friendship in our age group.
So this leads me to the question, should actively seek out relationships with older women?
Even though it may feel “unnatural” or “counter cultural”, I believe the answer is yes.
The Bible tells older women to instruct and teach younger women.
In Titus 2 versus 4 and 5 (ESV) it reads: and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
So are we allowing older women to speak into our lives? If not, why are we resisting it?
There are many instances in the Bible where God tells us to pass on things to the next generation. For example in Psalm 145:4 (NLT):
Let each generation tell its children of your mighty acts; let them proclaim your power.
God created us to be in relationship. And there is something unique about considering the words of women who have more experience, knowledge, wisdom and discernment.
We can become wiser just by listening. We can learn from others mistakes without having to make the same mistakes ourselves.
Proverbs 1:5 (NLT) tells us: Let the wise listen to these proverbs and become even wiser. Let those with understanding receive guidance.
So what’s stopping you? Are you reaching out to older women?
What wisdom can you gain from someone who has gone through it before?
If you aren’t sure where to begin with building relationship in older generations, start by praying. Ask God for divine appointments and to bring people into your life that have more wisdom than you!