Have you ever felt the pressure to do it all as a mom and woman? I’m sure it’s not new to our generation, but with the rise in social media usage, it sure feels like every other mom is doing it all and doing it all well.
It’s in our face – creative, thoughtful, and fun kid’s activities. Delicious, healthy meals sizzling on Instagram with impeccable presentation. Gorgeously decorate homes with limited clutter and mess on Pinterest.
No wonder moms feel discouraged after scrolling social media. Even if you try your best to filter your thoughts while scrolling, it’s almost impossible to stop yourself from thinking “I wish I had (fill in the blank).” If you’ve been around Inspired Motherhood for a while, you know how I feel about “I’ll be happy when…” thinking. It leads to nothing good.
Here is the truth mama: you can’t do it all.
People often look toward the Proverbs 31 woman as biblical evidence that we should have full schedules and to-do lists. Though I recently had a conversation with a friend that completely changed my perspective on this lie that we aren’t a good mom if we aren’t making homemade baby food and Pinterest level sensory bins for our kids.
As we chatted on Marco Polo about the pressure to add more to our already full plates my friend said “We often think if someone else can cook, clean, organize and teach without tiring then we should too. But here’s something we often miss. The Proverbs 31 woman had servants.”
Wait, what!? How did I miss that part before? I mean I’ve read this passage plenty of times, but I never stopped to think about what it really meant. In verse 16 it says: “She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants.” NIV
It’s so casual we can miss this HUGE TRUTH. The Proverbs 31 woman had help!
Yes, she get’s up early in the morning and provides food for her family and her servants, but she HAS SERVANTS. Do you know what that means?
The Proverbs 31 Woman has help! She doesn’t do it alone. She doesn’t do it all by herself.
Why do we believe the lie that we have to do it all alone? What if instead: We ask for help when we need help? We give ourselves some grace when we fall short of our high expectations in motherhood? How would our attitudes toward motherhood and homemaking change?
Would we enjoy it more? Stop critizing ourselves for falling short of an impossible mark? I think maybe!
Now I’m not saying we should use this as an excuse to ignore our household duties. But I am saying we need to make a mental shift from, “I have to do it all and do it all well” to “It’s okay for me to ask for help. To hire a cleaner or swap babysitting time with a friend.” Asking for help does not make us bad mothers.
We can’t do it alone. We shouldn’t do it alone. If it seems like that beautiful, skinny mom on Instagram has it all together the truth is she probably has help behind the scenes.
You can’t do it all. And that’s 100 percent okay!
How do you avoid the pressure to do it all in motherhood? Have you made any big mental shifts when it comes to mothering and homemaking? Share with us in the comments below!