Secrets to Stop Negative Thoughts & End the Comparison Game

Things aren’t always as they appear. I know this. However, sometimes I can’t help it and I start playing the comparison game. You know what I mean. “Wow, her child is so well behaved and basically perfect” or “Did you see her house on Instagram? It’s beautiful! If only I had ____(fill in the blank)” or “They just went on the most beautiful vacation. I wish we had more money to travel”

This is a dangerous game to play! It always starts innocently.

“Let me take a break and quickly scroll through Instagram.”

I see something on the internet.

I think “Wow, that’s beautiful” or “That vacation looks amazing.”

Then without realizing it, I start to feel inadequate. I suddenly want more. I feel restless and not fully satisfied.

Before I know it, I take it out on my kids or my husband.

“Why can’t he be more helpful?”

“Why can’t my kids just stop whining!?”

Soon enough I’m down the rabbit hole and no longer appreciating the life I have.

It has to stop. I’m putting an end to playing this comparison game.  

Learn how to stop negative thoughts and think positively especially after viewing social media! You can change your thinking and embrace your life right now.

“I’m not going to compare myself to others anymore. I can view social media without feeling bad about myself after. My life is great just the way it is.” So that sounds all perfect and maybe a little idealistic. But is it that simple? How do we actually do this!?

Ending my relationship with social media could be an immediate fix. But is this realistic and practical for me? These are questions we need to ask ourselves. Unfortunately as a blogger I can’t completely leave Instagram or Facebook. 

Though we could all benefit from some social media intervention. Ask yourself these questions and try your best to honestly answer them:

  • How much time are you spending online?
  • Do you notice a difference in your mood after spending time on social media? If yes, how so?
  • What boundaries do you need to set for yourself when it comes to social media?
  • Are you aware of your negative thoughts? How do you typically handle negative self-talk?
  • What are your triggers? (List anything that causes a negative self-concept or downward spiral in thoughts)

Don’t be afraid to set firm boundaries for yourself. If that means not looking at Pinterest for wedding ideas, baby nurseries or perfect outdoor spaces that is okay. It may also mean you need to ignore or block certain people and that is okay too. Know your triggers!

So here is the practical way to stop the downward spiral!

When we find ourselves thinking “I wish” or “I want” or “I’m not satisfied with ______” we must stop it as soon as possible.

First, we need to learn to identify when this happens. To do this we must become more aware of our thoughts. The questions above should help you become more aware of your triggers and boundaries. I also suggest taking a few days to consciously think about what you are thinking about.

Another option, ask God to reveal to us the negative things we let our minds meditate on. 

It's SO easy to start comparing your life to someone else's life. Especially with social media. So how do we stop playing the comparison game? Here are some practical tips to reducing negative self-talk after viewing social media!

After you identify your negative thoughts and triggers…..

After we identify our triggers and negative thoughts we must replace them with truth. Recently I heard this quote and I feel it speaks to the dangers of playing this comparison game:

One reason we struggle with insecurity: we’re comparing our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel. Steve Furtick

It’s okay to desire things and for other people to be happy. But I should never sacrifice my happiness or God’s peace by wishing my life away. During these times I have to remind myself of who I really am and who God says I am.

I am a Daughter of a King Quote. Reminding yourself who you are in Christ while playing the mommy comparison game.

We are daughters of the Most High. He has a plan to prosper us and great purposes for everyone He creates!

You may not have the exact plan, house, body, husband or children as your best friend and guess what, that is okay! Different does not equal bad. 

God has divinely created you and when he spoke you into existence in your mother’s womb he knew exactly what he was doing.

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

So I’d love to hear from you. How do you stop yourself from playing the comparison game? Was it difficult to find your triggers and set appropriate boundaries? I’d love to hear from you in the comments below and in our Instagram community.

How do you stop yourself from playing the comparison game?

Similar Posts


  1. Thanks SO much for linking to my post, Lauren – glad you liked it 🙂

    I really struggle with this, and am trying so hard to figure out how to manage it well!! And I also just really started dealing with it just after I had Isaac – so funny, right?? Our social media/Pinterest society puts to much pressure on us :/

    Wish you lived closer & we could have a playdate 🙂

  2. When I feel the pressure I have to recount all my blessings. And I have to do this often; I’m always comparing and weighing myself against social media, my friends, even what other bloggers write about.
    It’s really hard to squelch sometimes….

  3. I am totally guilty of playing the comparison game too. But lately God has showed me that other mothers struggle with the same things that I do and it’s so freeing to help speak His freedom and grace to others. This was so encouraging, Lauren!

  4. I love this. It made me think, what do I compare or wish that I had? Part of my fault, is thinking that because I’m optimistic in my results somehow makes the envying ok. When most of all, I need to be grateful for what I have, and to learn what God would have me do.

    I’m trying to apply this one this week/month: “I’m not concerned any of you are going to fail. I’m concerned you’re going to succeed at something that didn’t matter.”

  5. Such a great reminder that we all need. I’ve found myself in this trap of comparison before. So badly that I struggled with negative body image and it spiraled out of control. I overcame that struggle and now like to call myself a “recovering perfectionist.” 😉 Although I have overcome that part of my life, Satan still tries to pop itself back in my mind. I have found positive affirmations and prayers are extremely effective against the comparison game!

  6. Thanks for sharing this. Its a topic that has been on my heart for a while as well, and you put it so beautifully. This is a great reminder to truly count our blessings, and that things are not always as rosy as they seem on social media. *HuGs*

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.